Key Verse: "And when he was called
forth, Tertullus began to accuse him, saying, Seeing that by thee we
enjoy great quietness, and that very worthy deeds are done unto this
nation by thy providence,"
- Acts 24:2 KJV
Unbelief is my worst enemy, and most disturbs my mental
quiet; and no wonder it so harasses me, when it attacks the very
faithfulness of God, and concludes so harshly of his unerring providence.
Now, my gratitude cannot be silent at this your so surprising, surpassing
kindness. A few months ago, matters wore a different aspect—but I deserved
worse; yet then hope would not give up its claim to your care, faith would
not give up its interest in your promise, in your love; and both are
satisfied with your goodness. You have bestowed the very same mercy, though
in another way than I sought it. Then I thought that no way was as good as
mine—but now I find that your way is best; for as your thoughts are higher
than ours, so is your way better than our way. This favor which I sought
from you with submission, let it come with your blessing; not signifying
your displeasure—but sealing your love; not only filling somewhat my cup—but
fulfilling your promise. And as it may moderately feed my condition, so let
it feast my spiritual part; and not prove like Israel's flesh, that while
they thought to satisfy their lust, suffocated them outright; nor like their
granted request, which was attended with leanness sent into their soul.